Hustle Culture can go F**k Itself!
Ahh! Another year is here. That in itself is a blessing. It took me a good month to let the haze of the holidays wear off and for the birthday blues to drift away because the only party I was throwing myself this year was a pity party! Basically what I’m trying to say is that I had to get over myself. But I’m back baby! Back with some clarity and a new found sense of hope! New year, new me? Not quite because I’m awesome. A hot mess, but awesome nonetheless. I am trying something new though.
The biggest takeaway from last year for me is how I’m done with hustle culture. Yep, that’s right. Hustle culture can go fuck itself! I’m sorry Beyonce but my definition of a Diva will no longer include hustlin’. Don’t get me wrong, I am no stranger to hard work. One of the things I am most grateful for in this life is the sense of work ethic my parents instilled in me. I have always been aware of my responsibilities and put my job above everything else which has always been a hit with employers. I am not afraid to roll up my sleeves, jump into the trenches, and get to grindin’ as they say. I have been making necessary sacrifices and paying my dues for years with virtually nothing to show for it. No extravagant spending for me! No vacations! Hell, I even decided to not pursue romantic relationships because they take time and effort and my time and effort was going to my job(s) because I had dreams to make a reality! Working from sun up to sun down 7 days a week has done nothing for me but cause me to burnout before I’ve begun. To question my choices and if I’m going to be honest, lose a little bit of faith in myself because we were taught from a young age that if you put your head down, work hard, and stay at it, your reward will be success. So what does that say about me personally if I have been putting in the work and still can’t manage to get to where I’m going?
As I went through my phone to choose the picture for the annual post on instagram welcoming a new year, I was reflecting on what I was truly grateful for in 2022. Like for other people, it had its trials and tribulations, but for the most part, It was uneventful. I wasn’t any closer to finishing my album or focusing on performing like I had wanted to. I didn’t travel anywhere exciting. I started my media company but hadn’t made any progress. I wasn’t any closer to financial freedom which was actually my New Year’s resolution 2021. I was yet again treading water. Staying afloat. Still stuck in survival mode. I spent a big portion of the year looking for a higher paying job or a work from home situation with no such luck. I am convinced most of the posts I saw on indeed and zip recruiter were scams or fake but nevertheless, those higher paying jobs seemed like a myth. I wrote in my NYE post that I was going to force myself to be grateful for the basics: food, shelter, and my health but is it wrong of me to want more? Isn’t it kind of contradictory to not be content with what you’re allegedly thankful for?
To add insult to injury, my business endeavors like writing a book, releasing an album, or starting a podcast aren’t guaranteed money makers so I have been working 2-3 jobs since I can remember. My bills and responsibilities have always come first and what is left, goes to my creative projects. But with inflation and trying to make sense of this post-pandemic era, what is left at the end of the month is becoming less and less even though I work more and more. I came to this epiphany when I had received my last paycheck, the paycheck in the middle of the month, and forked over 75% of it to music production and a deposit for a space for my podcast and YouTube series. The kicker is, my next check was already spent because that’s the rent check. So here I was, preparing myself for yet another tight month and that is when I realized that I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep stripping myself to the bone emotionally and financially with nothing to show for it but a defeated spirit and the occasional mental breakdown. In typical millennial fashion, other things are important to me than financial gain. A proper work-life balance for instance. Or wanting to get up in the morning and not hate my job. I’ve always wanted a job that gave me a higher purpose than to make someone else money. I don’t mind if i never live in a mansion and drive fancy cars or wear designer clothing. If i can travel when i want, not think twice if my car breaks down or i have a medical emergency, and can make it rain in Sephora from time to time, hey man, that’s livin’ to me! I have chosen my passions as career choices so I knew that being able to get to a point to “ live off my art” would be hard but I can’t even seem to get to the starting line. So I am done. Done with working 7 days a week. Done with spending my time researching yet another side hustle to supplement my income that pays you pennies. Done with giving 110% to employers when they don’t do the same. Done with giving away every extra dollar I have that doesn’t go to bills to something that doesn’t make me money. I am done.
So where do I go from here? A girl still has to eat and I like having a safe and clean space to lay my head at night. I still have a job but I purposely chose one that is easy with no pressure to move up the ladder. I clock in, do my job, and clock out. No more. No less. Sorry not sorry. I downsized my living situation. Instead of struggling to pay for my own apartment, I moved to Denver and got a house with friends. Not my ideal situation since I’m a Florida girl and have lived on my own since I was 18, but it will do for now. Instead of pouring my money into music production to finish my album, I am focusing on live performances to get my name out there and make some new connections in the Spring. Instead of working a side gig every hour I’m not at my 9-5, I am working on my own writing like finishing my book and I have reactivated my freelancer accounts and I am looking for the writing and voice acting projects that I can do from my own home. Renting a space for my business was a good idea in theory but it was for my ego. I had become too obsessed with aesthetics but I can do a podcast and a YouTube series from my home like a lot of other people do. I am planning vacations and road-trips as a goal to save up for. I am reinventing what self-care looks like for me. I would rather see new places and find new sources of inspiration. I have been seeing a phrase on social media that has become super popular as of late called “soft living” which is the antithesis of hustle culture. One thing about me is that I don’t trust a damn thing on Instagram or Tik-Tok. I have never really been a person who cares to follow trends but this concept of soft-living is what I was feeling but didn’t quite know how to put it into words. I will define it for myself and I look forward to what this year will bring when I practice having just a little more patience with myself and when things are meant to happen. I will have more faith and believe that good things can happen to me when you sit back and let a higher power come into play instead of doing it all yourself. So yea, here’s a big FUCK YOU to hustle culture! You will not be missed.
